...but you didn't talk about the "internet of things." You waved your hands and said fyooochur.

The Internet of Things means my icemaker has an IP address. Why? So it can text me when its filter needs changing.

The Internet of Things means my watch has an IP address. Why? Because syncing to the atomic clock over IP uses less energy than a shortwave receiver.

The Internet of Things means that when I buy a stereo, it has an IP address for the receiver and an IP address for the remote (that I will never use again because my phone has an app). Why? So that when I can't find the remote, I can send it an SMS and have it beep at me.

The Internet of Things, in other words, means a proliferation of connected devices that are connected solely because putting them on the 'net is actually cheaper than giving them warning lights.

This is not going to greatly improve my life. It's not going to greatly improve your life. What it will do is push us all onto IPv6 because IPv4 is going to run out.

It's going to change your entertainment, too, by the way. Because all those "things" are going to be screaming out into the "whitespace" that Microsoft says is empty, but is actually full of

MY

WIRELESS

MICs.

We're already dealing with the bullshit of "The Internet of Things." I had a network TV shoot fucked because somebody's goddamn watch was busy screaming on the exact same frequency as someone's mic - a frequency that had been cleared, vetted and protected by the network sound shop. But the "Internet of Things" doesn't give a shit, because the only thing the watch wants to do is find out what time it is every 10 seconds (because why bother putting a decent crystal regulator on it when you're on the Internet?), thereby giving me a lovely raspberry while I'm trying to record a talk show.

So. Your "internet of things" is not going to be some magical "ambient intelligence" it's going to be a cacophony of RF in the last few useful frequencies we have left for shortwave, analog broadcast, wireless microphones, kids' walkie talkies, etc. We're already talking about shooting like we did back before wireless mics - if you've ever seen the way shows from the 60's were shot and noticed a difference with the way they are now, that's what we're talking about.

That's "the internet of things" - the meaningless, pointless screech into the last vestiges of RF silence we have left by gadgets that don't even need a voice.