This post has spawned some great discussion.

I always found it weird while getting my BFA that professors would stress that the "I" in a poem may not necessarily be the writer, but I think it makes sense that most people assume that the "I" generally is the writer,

Yes, people generally assume the "I" is the writer which can make for interesting discussions. And if they see elements of a poem that reflect your life they think the whole thing is true! I have sometimes prefaced my poems by describing that my formula for writing is 25% truth, 50% exaggeration, and 25% 'poetry'. It varies of course but I rarely write anything that's 100% my own life. I suppose this poem might be an exception but it's also extremely broad and so I think it escapes being "autobiographical" in that way. It's a feeling I've had so many times with so many people. I'm just tired of it.

This is not to say that I don't write poems where I am not the "I" in the poem anymore; I do, but generally the "I" in my poems are a fictionalized me or a character speaking with my voice in the way a lazy dad reads a story to his kid.

See, what I have a tendency to do which is kind of fun (and reflective of the way I think) is I will write poems in which I am a character, not the "I" at all. I'll take, say, a situation in my own life, maybe where I don't like the way I'm acting, and write a poem about it from the perspective of an outsider/the other person in the situation that then critiques on me-the-real-person-in-the-scenario. I wrote a poem called "Old Age," the whole of which I won't post here as I'm trying to get it published and quite like it, but it starts:

    You never do end up with the girl
    you know you're meant
    to end up with, so you find someone
    sort of similar, less 
    convicted hair... 

(or something like that; this is from memory) In that poem the "me" that's appearing is the "someone sort of similar, less convicted hair" - then the rest of the poem goes on to talk about how neither two end up happy in the poem - but the focus is definitely on the "you", not me-as-the-author's brief, almost cameo appearance.

As for American women, American men, and intimacy: intimacy is hard and dating has taught me to avoid it, or at least seek to avoid it prematurely, which then ends up shooting one in the foot when one meets someone who is actually willing to be intimate - causes one to drive them away at times, if you will. Dating makes one worse at dating and yet better at dating. You learn to separate out the chaff pretty quickly but it remains very difficult to figure out if the wheat you keep is actually the wheat you want. This is getting very metaphorical very quickly. I would say, it is probably not just a problem with American women - though I don't think you're really implying that.

I love food so much I think I'd have a LOT of difficulty only eating once a day.

Edit: Charming to see that as soon as I begin talking about matters of the heart I distance myself with use of "one" as opposed to, say, "I." Telling, natch?