Re: the edit, mais bien sur, humano.

I'll dig up a copy of the poem and send it to you privately, or alternatively, I could send you a link to me reading it on Soundcloud (maybe both).

I have problems with line breaks. I am thinking about them. I wish I could find more to read about them. My guru was telling me there's an article out there about the different ways and uses of line breaks but I've been unable to find it. I think it would help me.

Half the time when I write about myself as a peripheral character it's because I'm commenting on or critiquing my own actions. I have a tendency to break things out in the 3rd character in conversation, too, which is why I feel like it's just a twerk of my communication style: I'll be talking to a friend, say something, and then throw out what I think their reaction is in the third person. Hard to explain. Example:

Friend Brian: blah blah blah

Me: I like ducks, they're so dumb looking. [pause] Brian's like "You're so weird, Emily."

Brian: [opportunity to either disagree or agree with what I think his reaction is]

Really works best in person, don't think it translates well on the page here.