I try to curse less. "try."

Primary change is that all my life, I knew I'd be a terrible parent since my parents were such terrible parents. As it happens, I seem to be doing okay. She sure smiles a lot, anyway.

There's a pervasive trope in society that "children will change you." I think it's unhealthy - it cloaks "parenthood" in this gnostic veil of mystery and suggests that only those with kids have truly achieved enlightenment. It's bullshit, through and through. If you had no self-awareness before children, kids might just wake you up, yeah - but if you're clear-eyed about the process you'll find that most of the drama associated with kids is directly related to the foibles of the histrionic while most of the good stuff is directly related to your most basic assumptions about parenthood.

I stopped by the Monterey Aquarium in 2009 and knew beyond a reasonable doubt it would be much cooler with a kid in tow. I didn't have a kid for another three years and lo and behold, seeing stuff through my kid's eyes is every bit as cool as I thought it would be. Joy? Certainly. Surprise? None. Other than the fact that I'm not a terrible parent, everything else was a standard deviation or less from predicted results.

…and I'm still expecting to fuck this up royally somehow.