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IMHO the term narcissism is over-applied. I believe we owe a respectful degree of self-actualization to our loved-ones. We humans require some work to get into top form. To me, that means doing things that require some sort of investment, whether it be time, difficulty, persistence, etc. Perhaps a useful approach would be to measure yourself from the perspective of a friend. If you were your friend, how would you see the person that is yourself? How could that person best grow, in your opinion?