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You can be married and still not believe in marriage. I am. and regarding the ring discussion on this thread: I was more than happy to take my [current] husband's first wedding ring and get some words engraved inside it that originated in another relationship. The words were "endless love" -- although I considered "War is easy; love is hard." -- and regarding your sub-optimal choices . . . honour them. All my sub-optimal choices taught me how to be a human being and survive in the world. My needs for sub-optimal love continue though. (tee hee)