Holy narcissism, Batman.

Alex and I weren't exclusive; he was allowed to be with whomever he wanted. I was, too, although I rarely slept with anyone else because my sexual docket was full from porn. But he swore up and down that he'd never had sex with anyone else.

See, it's not like there's a mystery here. The bookkeeping of fornication goes back to Ur. Because a child born out of wedlock is at dire social disadvantage, women willing to risk such progeny make hazard pay. And because women are willing to make hazard pay to flaunt societal norms, they are accused of opportunism and social deviance.

That's the framework. That's what it's been for ten thousand years.

Yeah - for three generations we've had reliable birth control and effective hygienic measures. These have had the effect of laying bare the underpinnings of the social contract - in pretty much every culture that has ever walked the earth, sex is sanctioned with people you're building a life with; sex is taboo with people you're uninvolved with. I'm a romantic; I'd argue "sex with love" is preferable to most people than "sex without love" but I won't belabor the point. No matter how you slice it, sex has been a part of the social contract since cuneiform.

Porn workers flaunt that social contract. Doesn't make 'em bad people, doesn't make 'em villains, doesn't make 'em victims. Makes 'em other. Here's that quote again:

Alex and I weren't exclusive; he was allowed to be with whomever he wanted. I was, too, although I rarely slept with anyone else because my sexual docket was full from porn. But he swore up and down that he'd never had sex with anyone else.

Let's parse that. "Alex" could fuck however many dudes he wanted for fun BUT HE DIDN'T. The author could fuck however many dudes he wanted for fun but in his mind, he didn't.... BECAUSE HE WAS TOO BUSY FUCKING OTHER DUDES FOR MONEY.

I'm a remarkably conventional person for a guy who dated two bisexual wiccan strippers at once. Suffice it to say my circle of friends ran to the exotic while my needs don't go much beyond lingerie. And while there isn't a thin white line betwixt they and me, there's definitely an important difference: how well you distinguish between "sex that matters" and "sex that doesn't matter."

Those who tend towards unconventional sexual existences can bifurcate between "sex that matters" and "sex that doesn't matter." The better they can differentiate the two, the healthier their relationships tend to be. You see a bunch of parameter mismatch, though - if there are three people in an overlapping sexual relationship, they better all be at about the same level of differentiation or there will be hell to pay.

So here's this guy, who clearly has zero issues separating between "sex that matters" and "sex that doesn't matter", dating somebody who has at least one. And I guess he's never seen Pretty Woman.

So obviously, it's about the latent hatred society feels toward his avocation. It's got nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that society can't differentiate between sex and love as cleanly as he can.

'cuz if they could, he'd be out of a job.