I just spent all those words expressing that this is what I'm trying to avoid.

Yes. The problem with thinking about what's causing your crisis is, well, it forces you to focus on the crisis which is in part I think what the whole crisis is about. I think most people try to avoid thinkinga bout these things until they have to.

As for tailoring the resume that's actually pretty standard practice across areas, I think - once you have enough experience, that is. If you are applying for your first "real job" and the only other jobs you've had before that are part-time and don't directly apply, I'd keep 'em on there just to show that you have worked. But if you have lots of experience in the field where you are applying, then it makes sense to highlight that and kind of shove the rest under the rug, even though it may feel disingenuous or like you're unable to showcase what you might consider your more impressive achievements.

A lot of people have a difficult time adjusting to the concept that you can't always be the whole person you are in a workplace. And I say that with kindness having experienced that struggle in small ways, but being okay not being "fully honest" about myself; and seeing friends who struggle with that a lot more. Co-workers do tend to make or break a job. So if you are worried about the people I could understand that as a valid concern. Could you possibly find some really cool, quirky firm to sign on to? I don't really know how engineering works. My current career sounds dry as dust and in practice is, but I have some really great co-workers so I don't mind slavin' through.