a thoughtful web.
Good ideas and conversation. No ads, no tracking.   Login or Take a Tour!
comment
user-inactivated  ·  3866 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Hubski, What Are Some Of Your Personal (Dating) Relationship Guidelines/Rules?

I don't really have a rule-set because this sort of thing always seemed to me like something that comes naturally. Maybe it's because I'm not very picky and need more experience before I can start having enough self-validation to create a defined, 1. 2. 3. set of standards. Or because I feel that doing so may limit myself to new experiences, which is something I'm trying to avoid nowadays, ever since that party thing.

That being said, I have the blessed gift of inter-culture perspective, ohohohoho. So maybe I can be a seer for you all in that aspect.

So, the Arab/Sudan/Egypt/Muslim Male in the West whatever rule-book on dating:

1. It actually doesn't matter to anyone until they turn 20.

This isn't to say that they aren't thinking about girls all the time, because haha biology would say otherwise. But dating isn't really looked at seriously until around college. That being said:

2. They don't really like American Girls

I don't enjoy saying that, but I can surmise that it's true for most people in the demographic I'm describing. It's because they've been around foreign girls their entire life, while American girls live very different lifestyles than they're used to, for the most part. So, in regards to number 1, dating still doesn't really happen in college, because if you're going to college looking for racial diversity, I'm going to smack you with my bloodcurdling beefcake emperor boxing gloves and drink a protein shake. Which leads to number 3:

3. THE GREAT FAMILY-DATING SHOW

So where does an Arab/Sudan/Egypt/Muslim Male who doesn't really like American Girls find a girl to date? Well, dear reader, you can count on two things always being true for this demographic: everybody's family knows everybody else's family, and if you're dating, you're dating the family too. So, match-ups occur through family. My mom is really trying to get me to talk to a Moroccan girl who's family she met a few weeks ago at this wedding in May, for example. Stuff like that happens all the time, and usually leads to successful, loving, long-lasting marriages, much to the surprise of my American friends, who mistake something like that as being arranged. While arranged marriages do happen, they're really the exception rather than the rule, which is compounded by how many generations you've been living in America. 1st Gens are more likely to do it than 3rd Gens, for example, for obvious reasons.

4. About that dating the family thing

If she doesn't like your family, it's not gonna fly. That might sound obvious, but living in America, I've always noticed that spouses can really not like their in-laws, but continue to put up with it for their significant other. I'm not claiming one way is better than the other, but stating that this is much less likely to happen in this demographic. Family is 100% more important in this culture, similar to Asian cultures. In fact, if you do "leave your family" for a woman, you're looked down upon by the rest of the community. So if they don't like your family, they're not getting in.

That's all I can think of at the moment, but if I can remember more, I'll post it. I'll ask my parents too.