I agree with thenewgreen. It really is about more than just you.

I was (even more of) a cynical asshole when I was in High School. My friends and I existed on the fringes of the IB program, we didn't participate in the weird, cult-like "we're a family" bullshit, the friday-night-lights football, or any of the other "important" moments that define High School.

But that didn't make the program any less of a hell. The exams, the applications, etc. etc. And though I didn't say it to her, or even know it, then, my mom was the reason I was able to get through any of that. I would mention to my mom that I didn't really want to go through the pomp and circumstance that goes with graduation. My mom would sigh a bit, and say that I could do it if I wanted to, but I could tell it hurt her.

So I decided, you know what, fuck it, I'll just make this memorable. So I went further than just going to graduation and decided to join in in carrying my country's flag for the beginning of the ceremony.

My mom was ecstatic to hear that, and I got to meet one of my closest friends I have today going to flag practice the week before graduation.

Seeing my mom tearing up and waving to me as I carried my flag into the auditorium made it all worth it.

I know I'm the last person who should tell anyone that they should just try something when I'm such an anxious, is this worth it sort of person myself, but I really do think you might wanna reconsider if it's something your parents look like they care about. And even if they say they don't, their eyes not be saying the same thing.