galen has the right of it. We're circling around the same subject, I think I just see it more universally than you do. For example, I said: You reduced that down to You're looking at actions. I'm looking at intent. Galen boiled it down to two snappy lines of dialog; it's not what you're fighting, it's why you're fighting. And no matter the reason, if it aligns with your internal compass you're showing inner strength. Might be wrong, might be evil, might be misguided... but ain't nobody gonna call you weak. "Choosing your battles" is a much more Machiavellian concern. Absolutely: some fights aren't worth fighting. But that's a different consideration than "why you must fight them." It's like this: Right. But when you say it like "nobody's listening to each other, thus both sides end up losing" you're making your reasoning external. People are calling your judgement into question because you are making judgements about external factors. If instead you say it like "I'm not going to add my voice to an already-pointless conversation" you've taken a stand. Same statement? Yep. Absolutely. Same justification? Got it in one. Different context? Just different enough. That's the thing - sometimes it's about nuance. And the nuance here is "I have made a judgement for myself and you're not swaying me."To be a pussy is to knuckle under in the face of adversity. To be a pussy is to not fight battles you can win. But to be a pussy is to fight battles because it is expected of you, because it's the easy way out, because it gives your friends and peers a way to shunt you down the pecking order.
I don't agree that not fighting battles you can win is pussy-esque, I think you prove the mass of your cojones when you fight battles that you may not win, or aren't expected to win... and win.
The reason I would choose to not partake in any of them is because of the examples I gave in the OP, where nobody is actually listening to each other for some sort of conclusion to be made, whether its a win or loss for either party-- thus, both sides end up losing and so does their relationship.