I am Atlas. I have accepted personal responsibility for this world and everyone in it. I have, for whatever reason, been given a massive amount of empathy, and a matching curiosity about the world around me, as well as the ability to synthesize and interpret the information that curiosity yields. The more I learn about various horrific events, or living situations around the globe, the more and more I feel for these people. For example Kids getting burned alive in sewers in Columbia, or the crazy catholic roots of massive infant mortality in Brazil, or, to use a slightly less horrific but crazy example homophobic violence caused by missionaries in Uganda.

Even though there is nothing I can do about it, I'm responsible. It's my job, in every interaction and action in my life to help create a world where these things don't happen. Because of this responsibility, I'm always right, until proven, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I'm wrong. Sub-optimal choices and solutions are therefor utter evil to me because we(I) should always be striving to be better, more ethical and moral people. Because other people don't care about the things that scare me, such as existential risk, the highly-probable extinction of our species within the next hundred or so years, the drought conditions in the southwest that are only going to get more frequent and worse because of our farming techniques, they are worse people. I am above all of that, because I care about the things that matter.

And because of this responsibility, combined with my inability to make literally (not figuratively) everyone fat, happy, intelligent and self-actualized, I don't really like myself all that much. When I lost my faith in any kind of deity, I accepted all that he/she/it was supposed to worry about. 'God loves all the little children,' Well, now OftenBen loves all the little children, and I can't grieve enough for all that pass on without love, without family, without tenderness or kindness, without even the dignity we give to pets in this country. 'God will care for us in the future,' OftenBen will care for all in the future, because God left without telling anybody, and too many people still think that there is someone holding the wheel, and my Atlas complex makes me want to seize it, enter politics and grab authoritarian control, under the guise of democratic reform.

Luckily, so luckily in fact that I cannot accurately articulate appropriately, I've met someone very special. Someone who can grieve with me, helps me to set aside my globe, if only for a little while. Someone who lends me her eyes, so that I can see and appreciate what good I am able to do.

(I don't mind talking further about this, if you have any questions fire away)