I have been experimenting with altering my body (in societally acceptable ways - isn - in ways that are not considered negative) this past week. It has been empowering. I often feel disconnected from my body. I think that altering it in visible physical fashion (for instance, tattoos) may give me a greater sense of ownership over my body and connection with it. I have been thinking, therefore, a lot about body modifications, body acceptance, and such. A friend said to me that she thinks extreme bodybuilders are just as much body mod-ders as those who get tattoos or piercings. Maybe. I'm not sure on that one.

It is also empowering because, although I am currently living at my parents', my actions are not ones my parents would approve of (they do not like my tattoos or facial piercings) but you know what, I don't fucking care, I want to do what makes me happy with me and my body. I think I am finally at the point where I am doing that, I am choosing to alter my body so I feel comfortable in it (AGAIN, this is not in any non-tattoo/pierced-societal-accepted way) and so that I feel it truly is mine, as opposed to just this shell I happen to inhabit and don't feel connected with. (Also, nothing drastic like surgery guys.) I think this is somewhat a releasing of the belief I will live up to certain white upper-middle-class societal expectations for myself as well.

I have had a long conversation with a new friend about the choice to be child-free. It was nice to talk to someone who agreed with me on many points.

It is nice to commiserate with those who understand how you feel about things.

It has been a good, if weird, week. It has been empowering. I have been brave and strong. :)

Now I move onward: to better time management! Better time management, ahoy!