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Dendrophobe  ·  3609 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Ask Hubski: Long Lost Loves

In my first year of university, I met an amazing woman. Smart, funny, gorgeous. I was incredibly awkward at the time, but somehow managed to start a conversation with her (or maybe she started it with me - that's more likely). I added her on Facebook as soon as I got home (somehow that didn't seem creepy to me at the time). We chatted for a while on Facebook, and I thought something might happen between us, but it never did. Looking back on some things she said, I think she might have been flirting with me and I completely missed it. I was so afraid of being awkward, or misinterpreting a signal that I probably came off as uninterested. Two years later, she unfriended me on Facebook (probably because we hadn't talked or seen each other in forever), and I haven't been in contact with her since.

I actually developed a lot of crushes in university. I'd lived a socially deprived life, so at that time, if a woman I liked paid the slightest bit of attention to me I became convinced that we should be together. For some reason though, I didn't want anyone to know how I felt about them, so I never showed the slightest interest. Looking back now, I had no real basis for most of my crushes other than "Hey! She spoke to me!". It wasn't a healthy place to be.

I just had a really promising first date from OkCupid two nights ago, and I'm terrified that I'll either seem uninterested in her, or seem too interested and she won't want to see me again.

I can picture a little gauge in my head. Like this, but labelled "Creep factor", and I can't figure out where the needle is pointing.

https://imgur.com/qYPkMJn

Of course, it's also possible that she's just not interested in me, regardless of what I do, or that regardless of what I do, she's still interested in me. I'm bad at people, and more than a little nervous.