My wife's mother is a chocolate addict. She goes through chocolate the way chain smokers go through Marlboros. In the course of attempting to find coffee filters in her kitchen, I turned up eleven bags of chocolate - truffles, Frangos, After 8 mints, peanut butter cups, miniatures, you name it. It is safe to say that in her 64 square foot kitchen there is approximately three cubic feet of chocolate interspersed through it like marbling in a steak. Yet every year, she dramatically gives up sweets for Lent. No chocolate. No sugar. No dessert. Nothing. My wife's birthday is March 5. So every year, any cake that is made is resented by her mother, who has given up sugar for Lent, and why can't we all be more understanding? And then she buys eleven metric tons of chocolate the day after easter and proceeds to eat it like Spam in a survival shelter. Fuck everything about Lent.