I feel like Graham's almost right, but drops the ball when he says this: I agree with him that discussions about religion and politics are often shouting matches because it's a part of one's identity. People become irrationally defensive / offensive when their identity is questioned. But it'd be a terrible idea to use that as a reason to avoid such a debate. A lot of other things are a big(ger) part of my identity: my upbringing, my travels, my education. Should I avoid talking about these topics? Besides, I don't think it's even possible to detach yourself from your identity. It's inherently interwoven.The most intriguing thing about this theory, if it's right, is that it explains not merely which kinds of discussions to avoid, but how to have better ideas. If people can't think clearly about anything that has become part of their identity, then all other things being equal, the best plan is to let as few things into your identity as possible.