men and women have different preferences

I would argue that this is the "social pressures" I mentioned. When all your life you see women do a certain set of things and men do a different set of things, it is hard to go against the norm.

women have children

Yes, and in America today they don't get maternity leave. If women (and men) were guaranteed adequate parental leave, then this wouldn't be a problem. After the first few months of the child's life, if there was affordable child care for every child, then parents wouldn't have to worry about having one parent stay home, and both women and men could return to their careers with minimal disruption.

I make no apologies for my belief that women and men are equal. That's what I believe, that's what the women I've talked to believe, and so I form my opinions from that starting point. If you guys think men are inherently better at having a career, that it isn't just normalized discrimination and an unwillingness to accommodate women's healthcare that has existed in our culture for centuries, then we aren't going to come to an agreement.