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I have to watch it again, but they're totally aware they have a daughter. There's a bunch of times when people ask about Ren and the scene changes. Most notably when Maz asks, "who's the girl?" Han takes a deep breath and the scene changes. Leia does the same thing when she sees Han but there's a scene change. And Ren flips shit when he finds out a girl on dakka has BB-8, and she could be his cousin but the reveal of "I am your brother" is super tempting. I can't guarantee I'm right, but I've already put up 20 bucks to say I am.