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user-inactivated  ·  3094 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: June 8, 2016

As someone with a similar personality who learned this the hard way, then had this reinforced more times than I want to account for through therapy groups and training for 7+ years, this is spot on.

One bit of knowledge I can pitch in here as well is the use of this particular dialogue to get into the habit of 'active listening'. It's clumsy at first, but provides some seriously great training wheels for creating a safe space for 1-on-1 opening up to one another. That said, it's based on a model for 'couples therapy,' which can be applied to any form of relationship, in reality.

My favorite part of it all is how commonplace the wording can be, and the efficacy around de-stigmatizing opening up is profound in my experience. Your partner in these interactions may soon follow your lead and consciously, or not, start reflecting back and listening - a win-win in my book.