When we get together, I want to see you and hope you want to see me. But often you just want to be seen, and today it's me. Also: Don't mistake my eagerness to go with eagerness to leave. Don't mistake my eagerness to stay with a desire to stay. Basically I rarely feel wanted around others. And the rest is thinking about a recent conversation with my father. I talked about hiking or running or something. He spent most of middle age with the mindset of "gotta be doing something." Now he says he's happy to just stay home. Neither is where I'm at in life. When I hike out to some remote point, it's because I want to go there. When I hike back, it's because I look forward to returning home. This is beautifully written, lil. Thanks for helping me think about life in a different way. The format, and your content, is really great.