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I wouldn't go that far, but I would say that if you're asking for outside perspective and consciously worried about being an abusive partner, the likelihood is extremely good that you are not. To do so requires caring about how you treat your partner and a desire to be a good person; it requires the ability to look at oneself and wonder if maybe things are one's own fault, and not only that your personal tendencies can be changed or fixed, but maybe that they should be. People who are abusive do not look at their relationships through that lens