One of the best and worse times of my life was when I was so broke, it was scary. I was in such despair, every little moment of happiness was like brushing against the clouds of heaven. A six pack of beer. Fresh vegetables. Cooking rice and beans and discount ground beef with friends and enjoying it. D&D sessions. Sitting outside and just listening to music. All of it was sublime, it was worth the moments of empty fridges, worrying about how to pay bills, getting angry over deadbeat roommates and free loader friends. Like Ying and Yang, every moment of hardship brought every moment of happiness into stark focus. But the despair and the happiness both were tangible, easily identified and embraced.

People talk about wealth like its dollars and sense. Material wealth just turns the world into a grey blob. No color. No contrast. No texture.

Wealth isn't about having things. Wealth is about knowing who we are, what makes us happy and why, what hurts us and why, and becoming comfortable with those moments of despair just as much as we enjoy those moments of happiness. We can want good things, and they may never come, and that'll make us feel unfulfilled. We can want to end pain, for ourselves, for others, and that too may never happen, and that unfulfilled want just makes the suffering that much worse.

Wealth isn't about having. Wealth is about being. Be happy. Be sad. Be here. Be there. But above all, be you. Be really, truthfully, you and you'll have a wealth no law, no thief, no disease, and no calamity can ever take from you.

Today was an awful day, but it was also beautiful, and I'm thankful for it all.