It's clear that many, many people want this. They want to find someone they can blame for health insurance sucking. They want a Robin Hood. They want a Sheriff of Nottingham. My problem? Y'all up in this b acting like I don't understand that. Me. The guy who takes sixteen different insurance plans. The guy whose business is 1/3 Medicaid. The guy who legit has a lobbyist on payroll. me. I'm the one who doesn't get it. What's clear to me - and which none of y'all care a lick to hear - is that this is going to leave us worse than before. The narrative requires a good-hearted vigilante with a just cause bypassing the broken rules in order to strike a blow for Truth, Justice and the American Way against the evil oligarchs hell-bent on oppressing the kind citizens of Sherwood Forest. That's what everyone wants. That's what everyone has been pining for. Play up MarioLuigi's history of chronic pain. Play up Sneedly Snodgrass' use of AI in denying claims. Human interest stories about "pretend, offend, be friends" crocheted on toilet cozies. "We got 'em, Lou." And it's all feel-good murdersegments for GMA until the truth intrudes. Sneedly had two kids. He'd managed public benefits for twenty years. He'd raised concerns about "are we the baddies." Mario isn't a cheerful plumber, he's the Ivy-educated scion of a wealthy east-coast healthcare empire who freaked out his fellow moneyspawn at surf camp. Far from being the hard-luck chronic-health T-J-A-W blowstriker everyone's narrative requires, there's no evidence the sumbitch ever had a claim denied, no evidence he'd ever had Sneedly Insurance, and ample evidence that whatever his life concerns, "I can't pay for my medical care" was not among them. Hey 'member when that upstart college student was gonna disrupt girl's education so baaaad that everyone was all "sure go ahead and steal a Beastie Boys song?" Whatever happened with that? I've seen Goldieblox at Joann Fabrics. They're uninspiring bullshit that sells for pennies on the dollar compared to anything else because their ten minute hype into existence wasn't supported by evidence. It was a rich bitch of privilege cutting the line and expecting to be excused because if you're rich you can grab them by the pussy. Public sentiment went from "girrrrrrrl powRRRRRRRR!!!!!!one" to "well that was embarrassing" in about a news cycle and a half because THE NARRATIVE WAS FALSE. Debbie Silverspoon, for her part, learned that there are better ways to spend a million dollars but who fucking cares daddy buys her whatever she wants anyway. But that's just bullshit craftcrap being peddled as educational. Nobody got shot. Here's what's already happened in the health insurance industry: - executives are "othering" their clients - and billing security details to the company - and spinning up the PR machine about how great Sneedly was - and leaning on every influence to make sure Mario's trial sucks all the air out of everything else - and showing how they are the victim here Meanwhile, the gentle folk of Sherwood Forest are wrapping their heads around the fact that they lionized a rich psychopath who thinks Joe Rogan is a philosopher. Know who actually did more for class warfare? Billy McFarland. Wanna see a quote I loved back when I was 23? "America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system, but too early to shoot the bastards." But see, then I grew the fuck up. "Shoot the bastards" generally goes badly for everyone. "Shoot the bastards" usually ends up with collateral damage. You see, the problem with bastards is they're better at evil than you are. This is you, screencapping the Washington Post because somehow, a vanity publisher owned by a gazillionaire doesn't carve their headlines in granite. And all this - all this - is wish fulfillment. Everyone going "yay streetmurder" is imagining themselves being lauded by millions for shooting Sneedly in the back. So lemme put this in scare quotes "LUIGI MANGIONE IS NOT YOU" now let's talk about Robin Hood for a minnit. You don't have to dig too deep to see that Robin Hood was a legend the English nobility used to scare the English nobility into not being such dicks that their serfs refused to obey. Fun Fact: that's what Machiavelli's The Prince was about, too - it was one in a long line of medieval self help books intended to keep the nobility in power. So the narrative everybody - including the insurance companies - wants is the one where the insurance company acted badly and one of its subscribers called them out and they felt bad and they learned and now everyone is friends with the insurance companies because fuckin' hell we pay them a thousand a month at least they could be nice about it. But the one we're going to get? is "don't break the omerta. 'cuz here's the CEO of Aetna supporting single payer. And here's the CEO of Walmart calling for more than doubling the federal minimum wage. See his stock price being punished in the upper right corner? Doug's still on the job and Walmart stock is parabolic because frankly it's the only retailer left. Mark, on the other hand, got ousted when Aetna got bought by CVS. He knew it was coming. You can see it in his dead eyes. _____________________________________________________ And here, ultimately, is the conversation I wanted to have with Spence, if only he weren't so busy hugging his ragebear and swaddling in his hopelessblanket. - Be Luigi Mangione - Be upset about injustice - Be mad about healthcare prices and policies - Be coming home for Christmas - Be saying "hey grandpa I wanna start taking on the insurance companies that are screwing us over" - Be saying "hey cuz I feel like our state needs insurance reform" - Be slipping into a glass slipper held waiting for you since birth - Be using that Penn degree to actually mutherfucking help people Because that dude ain't us, man. Ain't us by a fair sight. We can't do any of that shit. I try? I want some fuckin' credit for that, by the way, because everyone here is all "yes yes you support single payer but have you shot a bitch lately" AND FUCK YOU ALL WE PICKAXED AN EXTRA MILLION AND A HALF DOLLARS OUT OF THE STATE THIS YEAR TO SERVE UNDERPRIVILEGED COMMUNITIES but since i didn't shoot a bitch fuck me I guess? 'cuz where y'all go, to a man, is - Be Luigi Mangione - Fuck all that - Shoot a bitch - Be a hero And all I'm trying to do? Is stave off the inevitable disappointment when y'all realize that Mario Luigi is, in fact, just another TESCREAL dipshit.Obviously this is far from a perfect robin hood, in practice, but as a symbol, this has provided an important opportunity to re-center the conversation on class warfare and wealth disparities, and of course healthcare insurance, in particular.
