by _refugee_

lil found out that I am younger than she thought.

I am experiencing - not a quarter-life crisis, but a quarter-life "What am I doing with my life? Is it enough? Is it fulfilling? How do I make it fulfilling? Am I fulfilling the tropes that are expected of me by society, family, and friends? Do I want to fulfill those tropes?"

This has resulted in a surprising amount of googling "biological clock." I talk a lot on Hubski about not having kids. I have managed to keep a back door for myself so no one can accuse me of pulling b_b if all of the sudden my belly pops out and there's a squalling child. But I guess part of my googling is because I'm getting tired of saying "My views might change" and I'm wondering if there really is any point in time at which my body is going to completely overpower all my reason and I'm going to want to put fetii in it. (Yes, I know the plural is fetuses.)

I also spend time thinking about my career and my passion (poetry). My career has nothing to do with my passion and I want to succeed in my passion. I also want to start taking advise from people like humanodon and the Mr. Money Mustache blog about money management, so those goals are pretty opposing. If anyone's noticed I seem to be babbling on a lot more about poetry and writing these days it's because in an attempt to satisfy both goals, I'm trying to invest a lot more time in poetry and writing. I am submitting more pieces, taking on a more active role over at Kenning, reading more and trying to write more too. I have developed long-term plans that assure me I could quit my current job around the ages of 30-33 and do whatever the fuck I want, and have my retirement paid for anyway. I came to this realization through a hubski article I can't find so here, read about the beauty of compound interest and 401(k)s. Would that be enough? Would I be brave enough to do that? Then I could follow dreams:

     I could try to get an MFA
     I could try to teach English somewhere
     I could just get a shit job and dick around and not have to worry so much.

     But am I that un-materialistic, to coin a word? 

So Hubski, tell me about your crises, your big decisions, and your job changes. Where are you on the path to personal fulfillment, and where would you like to be?

and another post of lil's that is relevant for futher reading