I wrote this for someone on reddit a few minutes ago because they're going through something shitty with their father, and despite not knowing circumstances, I think it's an important thing for everyone to know regardless.
My dad was an abusive fuck. He was a worthless piece of subhuman trash. I haven't talked to him in four years, and I should have completely cut him out before that, but felt I had some duty or requirement to make peace with him because he's my father and that's socially required of people. Respect your parents and whatnot for raising you. But you know what?
He was a fucking terrible parent and father.
He didn't raise me, he merely made me force to question every last thing I learned as a child and determine if it was a true fact of life and important value, or his fucked up, disgusting worldview that he ingrained as truth. I like to think I've become a good person, and I have retained nothing he ever said to me. It became world's easier to find that out after getting him away from me. It became easy to recognize more of what he did was abuse as well. I didn't even fucking notice that I was a fucking hostage of his for the majority of my childhood until maybe two years ago. And I'm a goddamn adult. That's the power parents have on us. So if they're shit, vile people, they deserve nothing from you. We had no choice in being born, so we shouldn't be made to feel that we owe them shit.