by lil

Dear Hubski Undergrads,

On Sunday night, I'm doing a workshop with some first-year students called Communicating Nondefensively.

These students live in a residence for politically active, peace and justice students interested in world affairs. They often get into debates about racism, immigration, the middle east, etc. and the organizer told me this:

"Our goal is to deepen and situate our individual and collective understandings of peace by coming to see that on any given issue, there are a range of complex, nuanced and deeply personal perspectives."

In other words, sometimes it is NOT in our best interest to say, #$%# off!! when we feel defensive. Here's where I need your help: Can you give me statements said by ANYONE -- your parents, professors, friends, other students, religious leaders, romantic interests, employers -- that made you feel defensive.

"Aren't you done yet?"

"You paid $200 for your running shoes? Are you insane?"

"You're always late."

"You're wrong. Where'd you get those numbers? That's bullshit."

Thanks!