Cultural Anthropologists Find Man Who is Actually Living the Dream
Cultural anthropologists working with the National Institute of Health and Science have found a man that is "conclusively living the dream."
According to the report, Mark Van Orden of Cincinnati Ohio has been "living the dream" for the past 23 years. Neighbors are baffled as Van Orden is said to be a disheveled, somewhat introverted loner that lives in his parents basement and works as an "IT guy" for a small CPA firm.
"I always thought it was just something Mark would say when I asked him how he was," said co-worker Lillian Bloom. "I had no idea that he was literally living the one, all-binding universal dream." Co worker Elizabeth Blue added, "he literally says it several times a day. There are times I don't even ask him how he's doing and unprompted he will tell me that he is living the dream. I guess I never realized what he was really trying to tell me."
"It's fascinating," said Dr. Ben Katakowski, lead scientist, "since concluding his participation in the study, Van Orden has changed his tune." Katakowski continued, "Now when asked how he is doing he will reply, if I were any better, I'd be you."
Dr. Katakowski continued, "whether or not Van Orden could literally turn in to you, someone else or even myself if he were in fact 'any better' is still unsettled science. But we're working on it."
shout-outs from the old "short story club" days:
zebra2, AshShields, kleinbl00, maynard, _refugee_, onehunna, Becoming_Betty, humanodon, lil, Floatbox, cW or theadvancedapes, insomniasexx, steve, thenewgreen, delta, insomniasexx, mk, veen, mike b_b, elizabeth