mivasairski says that there's our conscious to-do list of priorities. Then there's a second list of priorities -- inner priorities -- that aren't on the first list.
I'm not even sure what's on the second list, but that seems to be the one I'm following and the one I keep going back to.
Maybe if I figure out what's on the second list and how to visit it consciously from time to time, I can make more progress on the first list.
But first I'd have to put "figure out what's on the second list" on the first list.
damn.