Yeah, it must just be where I am, but I'm hard pressed to find a marital arts gym that isn't MMA focused, or at least claims to be on the tin.
Well for gyms that focus on MMA, Boxing, BJJ, and Judo (until the fallout from IJF's recent policies really start to hurt the style), for them the proof is in the pudding, competition results. Competent coaches plus good program regimens plus dedicated students = wins. For other styles, such as Karate, Krav Maga, Tae Kwon Do, Wing Chun, etc. it's very difficult to figure out which schools, if any, are decent. If you ever visit forums like Sherdog you'll see that they're not held in the highest regard for a reason. Still, if those are the styles you want to learn, it's a good idea to look into those schools with your bullshit meter running at 100%.
Yeah, for sure. I've mostly been looking because it's hard to convince my fiancée that the gym is actually fun. I did ju jitsu as a teen and really enjoyed it, so I'm mostly looking for enjoyable ways to get in shape. I have a strong suspicion that the competitive nature of most MMA gyms would be a turn off for her, and it's not like we would be looking to compete. All that said, there's definitely belt mills and I'd like to think that I can smell most of the time.
A lot of the MMA and Jiu Jitsu schools are much more open to women now. Some even offer women only classes to make women feel a bit more comfortable. Since the styles have really come en vogue in the past 10 to 15 years, gyms are really starting to jump on it. You'll find members of all ages and walks of life in them. Everything from your redneck mechanic to your white collar lawyer. Once you walk through that door, put on your gi/gloves, who you are outside the gym doesn't matter. You're there to learn, grow, and help others through the same process. It's a pretty awesome thing to see.
For sure, I loved my dojo growing up. They were always really cool and egalitarian. I guess I've just been turned off from MMA gyms as back when I was doing all this was when MMA was first starting to hit mainstream and everyone that I met that was doing it had that highschool jock attitude of "Holier than thou" and "Your dojo doesn't participate in the UFC feeder events, so it's obviously shit".
You'll get that elitism from time to time when it comes to anything that involves competition. MMA, football, hell I've even heard of men's softball clubs that are full of goons. One of the things that a lot of people don't consider though, is that a lot of the people who talk like that in the MMA world are literally all talk. They often scrub out relatively quickly. There are literally thousands of people who are better then you. They can outroll you, outbox you, whatever. If you have a big ego and it depends upon you succeeding, you're not going to do well. Conversely, if you're a person who values hard work, dedication, and learning and can stand to be humbled from time to time, you're gonna grow. Everybody at the gym that I went to was very mature and well composed and they're more than happy to help you out, especially at the beginning. I also think a lot of people who "practice MMA" and trash talk haven't been in it for long. They see the trash talking you see when companies like UFC, Bellator, Invicta, etc. are promoting fights and they think that's the general attitude of the fighters. That's not the case at all. The majority of those people are awesome and down to earth. In fact, you'll constantly see them stop to talk and take pictures with fans, even when they're just having a day at the mall with their family. The trash talk you see on TV is part of a two fold system. It's a psych game for the fighters and it's a marketing tool for the promoters. It should never be taken as an indication as to who these fighters are. True, you'll get some goons that stand out from time to time, but that's true in any sport. They shouldn't be a representative of the whole.