Well, 8bit, I agree with you, at least bits and pieces. Do care about others, but only care about others after yourself.

I have a personal hierarchy. It became established after I realized I had a bad hierarchy, through drowning myself in relationships. The hierarchy is short, simple, and guides my actions more often than you'd think.

1. Me. - If you don't put yourself at the top of your own hierarchy, you will never be at the top of any hierarchy. You need to take care of yourself before you take care of anyone else. That includes simple stuff: clean your room, brush your teeth, do your laundry. Be well fed and well slept. That then moves over into desires. What do you want to do? If anyone else ever puts you on their personal hierarchy above themselves, guess what - you don't want to be with that person, because that person is not invested in taking care of themself.

2. Family. -Feels self-explanatory to me, although I'm unnaturally close to both my siblings. Some people aren't as close to their family. That's fine. I'm Irish and one of the few sets of traditions I value are the traditions of family. There is never any question if I will be there on a birthday, holiday, or special occasion. There is never any question if I will help if my family needs help. (There are of course slight exceptions. I'm not trying to encourage enabling behavior, see point #1 on the hierarchy.)

3. Friends.

4. "All the rest you fuckers." That includes people I'm dating. They can work their way up that hierarchy, but it's important when in a relationship to not let that relationship subsume you, your relationship with your family, or your friendships. Otherwise, when that relationship ends (and it most likely will end) you are left with nothing. This is why the other 3 come first.

I sometimes just call myself selfish. I mean, "I do what I want to do." I mean, "I make sure my desires are met." I mean, "No, I'm not going to my roommate's stupid party where I won't know anyone and I certainly won't carpool and thus be stuck at that party for four hours or more, not having any fun. I don't care if she's my roommate. It's not what I want to do." (My roommate falls into category #4.)

Secondary reasons for doing things are acceptable. For instance, if I wanted to strengthen my relationship with my roommate, I might choose to go to the party, even though I didn't want to go to the party itself. But you should have, always, a reason for doing something and it should be more than "because someone else wants me to do." Even if that reason is "I want to make this person happy, and they want me to do this, so I'm going to."

Damn it, mk, I want indents. I want hanging margins.