Don't give a fuck. I'm being serious about this. Don't fucking care about anyone except yourself. Accept the fact that the only person you need to care about is yourself, because the world doesn't owe you anything. Fuck that noise. You wanna die thinking about all the shit you wish you had done but didn't because you spent it trying to make other people happy? That's bullshit. No one else matters, when you get right down to it. That doesn't mean you become an asshole. It just means you focus on yourself, first. The key here is first. Put your needs first, and you'll become happier. It sounds narcissistic, but it's not. It's setting priorities. Edit: I think some of this can be rescinded. Been in a bad mood.
Is not a complete philosophy it is not even Hillel's complete philosophy he also said andIf I am not for myself, who will be? -Hillel
"Don't trust yourself until the day you die.
"Your house should be open wide, and you should make the poor members of your household."
and he also said, "If I am only for myself, what am I?" -- some translators put it like this: If I am only for myself, what am "I"? There has to be some balance between self and others. You are most able to effectively help and consider others, the more you understand yourself.
If you feel no kindness from the world - it is hard to give kindness to others. Hillel's quote ends with "If not now, when?" As for the question, OftenBen about being a better single guy - whatever the "right" answer is -- I have a feeling that it is the same answer to the question "how can I be a better married guy?" or "how can I be a better human being?" I wonder if it's the same answer to the question, "What does it mean to be mature?"
The answer to the question "What does it mean to be mature?" is easy just don't giggle when people say butt. I don't know to fix what is wrong with humans but I am pretty sure the answer is not we need to become more selfish.
I actually passed this test. I think I may be a robot...
nah no one expects you to pass until you are 40. protip you can giggle inside
Well, 8bit, I agree with you, at least bits and pieces. Do care about others, but only care about others after yourself. I have a personal hierarchy. It became established after I realized I had a bad hierarchy, through drowning myself in relationships. The hierarchy is short, simple, and guides my actions more often than you'd think. 1. Me. - If you don't put yourself at the top of your own hierarchy, you will never be at the
top of any hierarchy. You need to take care of yourself before you take care of anyone else. That includes simple stuff: clean your room, brush your teeth, do your laundry. Be well fed and well slept. That then moves over into desires. What do you want to do? If anyone else ever puts you on their personal hierarchy above themselves, guess what - you don't want to be with that person, because that person is not invested in taking care of themself. 2. Family. -Feels self-explanatory to me, although I'm unnaturally close to both my siblings.
Some people aren't as close to their family. That's fine. I'm Irish and one of the few sets of traditions I value are the traditions of family. There is never any question if I will be there on a birthday, holiday, or special occasion. There is never any question if I will help if my family needs help. (There are of course slight exceptions. I'm not trying to encourage enabling behavior, see point #1 on the hierarchy.) 3. Friends. 4. "All the rest you fuckers." That includes people I'm dating. They can work their way up
that hierarchy, but it's important when in a relationship to not let that relationship subsume you, your relationship with your family, or your friendships. Otherwise, when that relationship ends (and it most likely will end) you are left with nothing. This is why the other 3 come first. I sometimes just call myself selfish. I mean, "I do what I want to do." I mean, "I make sure my desires are met." I mean, "No, I'm not going to my roommate's stupid party where I won't know anyone and I certainly won't carpool and thus be stuck at that party for four hours or more, not having any fun. I don't care if she's my roommate. It's not what I want to do." (My roommate falls into category #4.) Secondary reasons for doing things are acceptable. For instance, if I wanted to strengthen my relationship with my roommate, I might choose to go to the party, even though I didn't want to go to the party itself. But you should have, always, a reason for doing something and it should be more than "because someone else wants me to do." Even if that reason is "I want to make this person happy, and they want me to do this, so I'm going to." Damn it, mk, I want indents. I want hanging margins.
I'm afraid I have to vehemently disagree with you on this one. This sounds a lot like Rand-style cynicism, a philosophy that one need be very narrow minded and myopic to endorse. Sometimes people are jerks, and you will have times in your life that you get hurt by people you care about pretty bad. That doesn't make all people bad, and it doesn't mean that the next person will also hurt you. Becoming a cynic is the fast track to a not so fulfilling life, IMO. The best part of life to me is forming and maintaining relationships, friends, family, loves, colleagues. I'm not really a very social person, so don't read this as me saying that more is better. I do, however, firmly believe that forming strong bonds with others, even just a few others, is the best we can hope for. "Trying to make other people happy" is different from bringing others happiness through your actions, which hopefully comes naturally (and reciprocally) when dealing with loved ones.