I just used all my saved badges on this thread and it was completely worth it.

This is another difficult question for me to answer, like the incompetence thread - which I didn't comment in at all as a result.

People do make assumptions on the internet all the time. It's based not only on what's on the page in front of them, but what's going on in their life. This reminds me of the kleinbl00 and insomniasexx post which kb referred to in a different thread earlier, and which I hadn't read in whole until he posted it. Long story short insom got really irritated by kb and made that clear. It later came out that insom was dealing with a whole bunch of shit at the time and kb unfortunately got caught in some emotional crossfire. Or friendly fire. He got hit by it even though by and large the ammunition was coming from and really aimed towards other sources.

Sometimes I can understand why people make assumptions. I got yelled at on Reddit just recently for asking an OP to clarify something. Long story short there were a lot of divided opinions about the OP in the post, so there were some very nasty comments that didn't support the OP getting downvoted, and a ton of very positive comments getting upvoted. I personally didn't know how I felt about the situation so I asked the OP to clarify - but someone else thought I was essentially concern-trolling, asking the question because I was being a snarky bitch who'd already formed an opinion about the OP. I finally pointed out to the commenter that it's possible to have different readings of a post and, last time I checked, the poster didn't respond. The poster thought I was trying to subtly undermine the OP; really I was trying to get more information in a polite manner (because of the trolling; I didn't want to be taken for one) because something wasn't clear to me. I could understand why the poster had made an assumption. (I couldn't quite understand why they needed to insist I was an undermining, dumb bitch for three posts, but hey, each to their own piss and cheerios.)

Sometimes when assumptions like that are made I think it's valuable to consider the other perspective and why someone might have the thoughts they're having. Sometimes it's clear cut, like the example above. Sometimes it's less obvious, like with insom and kb.

Other times I think assumptions are made based on ignorance and/or haste. For instance, when you skim through a post and don't take the time to read it thoroughly, you'll often find when you reference it later that you either miss important details (like quotation marks) or miss key facts, like thinking someone is obtaining their undergraduate degree when their bio clearly states that they have graduated. It's not a lack of research here, it's a lack of attention to detail. The ignorance and the haste can combine certain issues: sometimes it may be necessary to think about what would be the best way to approach a person about an observed issue, instead of immediately jumping in and raising the issue. For instance, if I am irritated by something or someone, I think it's advisable to take it up with that person individually (in most cases). It can reduce that person's embarrassment. This of course assumes that person is capable of feeling embarrassment.

My personal policy is that if I am caught in the wrong, especially on the job or with friends, to immediately and completely "own" the wrong. This matters a lot at work: if you go to your boss with something you've fucked up as soon as you realize you are unable to un-fuck it up, you give your boss the most amount of time to deal with the issue. If you try to cover it up and panic, the issue simply becomes worse, time runs out, and the potential fixes you and your boss can apply (together) start to run out. I think apologies are a good thing.

Sometimes when a given person and I have different opinions about something, especially if that person assumes their experience is the only experience, I try to present the background of my experience that causes me to feel such a way. This can be "bad" sometimes because I often caveat my feelings by saying "In my personal experience" or "with me personally", seeming to limit my experience to only me when it fact I usually believe it's not that unusual of an experience. Still, it helps to not ruffle feathers.

thenewgreen you would be proud of me, I can't write any more here because...I'm off to play tennis! I wanted to tell you. I've only played once so far but I'm not bad and I love it. Thinking of you dude.

I hope you get more answers to your question, lil.