Thank you, thank you, everyone for your responses.

First of all, I want to apologize to teamr. I should have dealt with my problems directly through a pm -- but I didn't realize what they were until today.

Here's the pm I should have written:

Dear Teamr,

When I listed Rufus Wainwright as my personal indulgence, in response to tng's question, I said with some ambiguity "Rufus Wainwright, mmmmmm." So it is perfectly understandable that you might think I was dreaming of an indulgence with Rufus instead of merely with his music (which I love).

What bothered me was your comment, "I hate to burst your bubble." The phrase seemed condescending. When we feel someone talking down to us, it tends to create defensiveness. The disconnection between people begins.

I was aware that I was irked, but I didn't explore it and realize how disconnected I had become and my ability to stay in an empathic place with you diminished, so I got into a mean competitive place and thought about how I could make your comment look bad. I don't want to be in that place. It took me till this afternoon to figure it out.