I've been third wheel at a death watch, there to support those who will go on living, an observer who doesn't have a profound attachment. As a watcher I thought it was one of the most beautiful, powerful things I have even seen.

The intensity of the love and honor given to the person who is dying was overwhelming, absolutely sincere. I'm sure there are times when it is not like this, people less loved watched out of a sense of obligation but I haven't stood that kind of death watch.

The tenderness and sorrow of a child holding their parent that just left the world is just an awe inducing expression that is viscerally primal and honest.

I like funerals, I like open caskets. Giving full regard to a person for a last but brief time seems like very least we can do to acknowledge a persons life. I like the attempt to evoke the spirit, manner and accomplishments of a person when delivered in a collection anecdotes delivered by those who knew then best.

So many people hate open coffin funerals. "It just doesn't look like her," they say. Well of course not, she's dead, probably after an illness that already physically decimated her already. Our stories and remembrances will only ever be vague approximations of the person we knew but we have still gathered to share them. How different are the remains in the whole process.

I know people who won't take their kids to funerals of people who significant in their lives. I think I only really started to think about things like how does one take the measure of importance and goodness of a life after I went to my first funeral.

I'm not sure about the death vigil age. It wouldn't be beneficial to take a kid just for the sake of doing it, that's for sure. Being around death is powerful but not completely terrible.

If something were to happen to my wife and my family were in this position I would bring my three year old daughter. I would want her to see us express how much love, honor and regard I have for her. I would also want her to share the sorrow, to have something more than an important person in her life disappear with all the adults around her mumbling unintelligible gibberish about where her mom went.

Thinking about this gave me some heavy feelings.