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I feel that I need to triple-down on the recommendation of seeing a therapist. You don't need to be on the brink or some sort of life-threatening state to go see a therapist. People talk to a therapist just because they feel stressed or confused, and in the cause of sexual assault I don't think you should waste any of your time, and you should find one and make an appointment asap. It won't be a waste of your time. It can feel like such a strange situation for a guy to talk about something like this and so I respect your strength to talk about it here. I'm sorry that happened to you, but know that you don't have to just "deal with it." You couldn't even imagine it now but with some help and patience, you can work past it.