I was sexually assaulted about 4 months ago and haven't exactly gotten over it at this point. Due to that I've tried to stay away from making any lasting relationships because every once in a while I'll end up breaking down. That's most of my personal baggage, but it's caused me a lot more mental and emotional issues than anything else, and I have trouble trusting people. I've thought about seeing a therapist more than once, but have been procrastinating getting one once I feel a bit more confident about it just to break down once again. It's a lot weirder to try to explain to people what happened since I'm a guy. I don't want to talk about it with just anyone, and if I do open up about it most just assume I can deal with it easily. That's pretty much my baggage at the moment, I've been pretty unstable emotionally and it's been problematic for all relationships afterwards, friendly or romantic.
Most everyone else is talking checked baggage. You're talking carry-on. "The longer you wait to deal with this the more entrenched it will become and the harder to separate from your psyche," said the guy just now dealing with shit from 25+ years ago. "Sort it out now and it becomes a rough patch. Let it fester and it becomes a part of you."
I feel that I need to triple-down on the recommendation of seeing a therapist. You don't need to be on the brink or some sort of life-threatening state to go see a therapist. People talk to a therapist just because they feel stressed or confused, and in the cause of sexual assault I don't think you should waste any of your time, and you should find one and make an appointment asap. It won't be a waste of your time. It can feel like such a strange situation for a guy to talk about something like this and so I respect your strength to talk about it here. I'm sorry that happened to you, but know that you don't have to just "deal with it." You couldn't even imagine it now but with some help and patience, you can work past it.
I appreciate the input from all of you guys. It's a bit of a strange time in my life for it to happen since I've been busy and moving around a lot(I turned 21 about a month ago and am still in school, so I moved back to Erie about a month after what happened for my internship). I'm leaving here in a week or two and will be away until late August. I'll look into finding a good, affordable therapist once I make it back to school and have some solid time in one place.
I just pm'd you. But the short of it is, that you should probably go see a therapist. I know from first hand experience that it can be a wonderful and healing process. I'm sorry this happened to you but my hats off to you for being self aware enough to recognize that it is effecting you and that you need help. It takes a strong person to admit that. Well done!
Four months ago - you're right to stay away from relationships right now, I think. I think it would be a good idea for you to get thine ass to that therapist (as long as you find the right one and think it would be helpful for you). In general I would expect this kind of thing to impact more than just romantic relationships. I'd encourage you to seek help as soon as possible, because this may be impacting you in ways you don't or won't even realize until much later. I don't know how old you are, and I see you're a guy, but I know that adolescent and pre-pubescent girls who experience sexual assault are significantly more likely to develop eating disorders after the event(s) for instance - it's often posited that these girls "want to disappear" or are striving to return to pre-pubescent states (when assault occurs after puberty). This probably doesn't appear directly relevant, but I wanted to provide examples of long-term effects from sexual assault that one wouldn't be able to predict or anticipate immediately after such an event. I'm sorry for what happened to you, and it sucks.