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thx bfx. I've ignored and misinterpreted signs. I have also noted some major bad behaviours, but failed to react appropriately. For example, if your romantic-partner-to-be throws a cast iron frying pan across the room in anger and refuses to talk about anger issues or recognize that they might be a problem, the appropriate reaction would be to leave.

If bad behaviours and appropriate responses were a multiple choice test, I probably would not have got a passing grade till I was 38.