I think the larger truth of passive participants to dating sites having an easier time is more truth than the gender lines. Now, it's true that more women take passive roles than men and because that's the norm that has momentum it'll probably stay that way, but it's possible for anyone to play that part.

I know more and more women in my life who are seeing that, too. Being passive is great because you don't have to put in the work and still get some reward, but you also give up a lot of control. One in particular was getting tired of the kinds of guys who would reach out and started messaging people proactively. She was just as ignored and disappointed as everyone else who gives it their all. On the other hand, I stopped active searching altogether when my future wife reached out to me, which was the easiest date I've ever gotten.

I like the revelations from this season of the Start Up podcast which focuses on a dating site. In it they discuss people's expectations and beliefs and how we allow ourselves to believe we deserve more than we do when we're online because there's none of the intangible human feedback of in person communication. That seems to be closer to the core of the pains of dating, to me at least.