I was in a class in grad school recently called The Woman Manager which ended up being about how women get stuck in mid-level management and how the gender gap is tragic etc.

When we started going around the class, I realized that everyone around me had already made the decision to live to work, and I have been staunchly against that since 2012 when I got out of the military. When they talked about themselves everything was job this and then family. When they talked about their families it was almost perfunctory rather than pride. Their dreams were of better jobs and more responsibility. That's what they dream of. More work. Can you imagine? I dream of retiring tomorrow and building a log cabin on land I own. I dream of buying so much art I run out of space. What the hell happened to these people?

When I talk about myself I breeze over the job I get paid for and talk about what I fund. I volunteer with a group that builds trails in Missouri. I work on artistic projects and I write. Who gives a shit that I run Excel spreadsheets really well? I don't and it pays well. I work to live. It's pretty easy to tell the two people apart.