It's a damn funny thing: here, I can talk to people and have little problem with it. The Hubski folks are awesome: funny, chill, always have topics to talk about and do so in a respectful manner, as equals to equals. I miss that in real life. Can't help but think it's something about me, because it can't be the whole country, can it?

I made a friend recently. She reminds me so much of my younger self that I went on about lecturing her how to do better without getting her consent. I do my best to stay respectful and positive with her because I made a vow to do so with the new people I meet, but I can't help but notice how screwed her emotional world is. She sincerely believes that holding her emotions back is the best way and that her mental breakdowns - "just" every once in a while - is an okay consequence of not having to rely on anyone because she has to solve her problems herself and only herself. And I may have pushed her deeper down today by trying to make her open up a little.

Fuck me. Fuck the exams that make me lose sleep, for the first time in years. Fuck having to navigate a minefield with a person whom I can actually understand, for the first time in my life. I have three exams in the next two days and I can't fucking bring myself to study because of all the worry and sorrow, and I barely know shit in either of the subjects. The only things that help me stay sane is my sharp skill of bottling emotions and as many sweet drinks as the money can buy.

And Hubski. Bless Hubski.