Wow... sometimes these questions come up that just boggle my mind.

This is one of those.

The entire conversation starts too far down the track. We gotta pull the train all the way back into the station, and start from some base principles.

Number one: There is nothing someone else has that is going to "complete" you. If you are not complete and whole, you can never be a true partner to someone else. You cannot look to someone else to fill that hole inside of you, because then all you are is a suck. You aren't a partner, you are a leech.

Number two: If you are not whole and comfortable with yourself, why are you even looking for a partner? How can you be fully present for them, and participatory in the relationship, if you are mentally spinning on your own shit? Who is the other person supposed to be connecting to? The 30% of you that is available to them? You are a human moving target, who isn't present and fully engaged in a mutual experience. You only have your toe in their pool, and you expect full commitment from them? That's just being an asshole.

Everything anyone needs (short of an actually clinically-assessed chemical or mental imbalance) is inside of them already. Looking outside for solutions is just screwing someone else up.

Because who are they? What are they looking for? Do they want a relationship with only 30% of you?

I bet not. So if you engage in a relationship with them, you are lying to them. You are basing your relationship on a false premise - namely, that you are ready and prepared to be an equal partner in the relationship - and building upon a foundation of quicksand.

I think people need to expand outside of their own needs, when considering a relationship partner. Your partner does not complete you. 1 plus .75 does not equal 2.

That's why great relationships are 1 plus 1 = 10. Both people are bringing their full selves and A-game to the relationship, fully participating with their partner in a mutual partnership, and building something that is literally impossible for either of them to build alone.

THAT is a relationship.

Anything else is just using another human as your own personal crutch until they break. And that's just a shitty thing to do to another person.