We're eating the one on the right. 15lbs of Spanish Black. $10/lb. Don't care. Tastes like game. Heritage breed, every time, have done since 2009.

The birth center had 15 women in dates at the beginning of the month. Mid-October we made the command decision that our traditional "orphan's Thanksgiving" should include the staff at the birth center because odds were exceptional that someone would go into labor and between two and four people would get pulled away from their holiday. So we're all heading over there. Our headcount looks to be about 15.

The Coven have been pretty stoked about this idea; clients have been told for about three weeks that if they go into labor on Thanksgiving they will be expected to bring a side. 'twas a good decision as there have been four births since Monday and we've got a lady there who has managed to huff down all our nitrous, having decided to come in yesterday at 9am (we kicked her out until 9pm last night; I was informed by text that she managed to squeeze the kid out just now). One of our midwives and one of our students hasn't left for more than a few minutes since Tuesday.

I have traditionally made the cranberries-and-clementines hash on the back of the Ocean Spray package, but over the past several years I have noticed that I am the only one who eats it. One of my wife's clients was a mid-level Food Network flak who gifted her with a cranberry and pomegranate chutney ahead of some cookbook or other and we've resolved to make it instead. However, since one of the principle ingredients is peppercorns I am often the only person who eats that also.

My wife's family's traditional side is a cranberry "salad" which I refer to as "airquotes salad" to annoy them. It contains ground cranberries, crushed canned pineapple, sugar, whipped cream and mutherfucking marshmallows. The internet informs me that this is collectively called cranberry fluff and that it's likely supposed to be made with Kool Whip. However, as my wife's family considers Kool Whip to be takfir, the substitution of Kitchenaid-whipped cream somehow makes this monstrosity wholesome.

I know there will be potatoes, smoked salmon and some veggies there. I know there will be turkey, stuffing, and two kinds of cranberries (too hot for anyone else to eat, and so sugary that everyone wolfs it down). Beyond that, it shall be a surprise.

About four hours from now I'm going to have to figure out how to get a hot 16lb turkey into a Porsche 911.