Zen and Buddhism are actually the things holding me together and keeping me on my path.

I have read a lot of Alan Watts. "The Book", and "The Wisdom of Insecurity" were both great reads if you haven't already ocnsumed them. And yes, they express the same sentiment. The whole "whatever happens happens, it's only negative if you FEEL it's negative". All we ever have is this moment, there is no past or future, and right now my moment is going well, and as long as the moment is going well, my future should unfold the same. I'm a wannabe buddhist. I meditate, and even started shaving my head years ago as a result. Partially because of that, the other part because I look better with a shaved head. :)

Now, do you feel how you do because you feel as if there's something more or that you haven't quite nailed it (not in the sense of contentment because you seem to have plenty) in the sense that maybe life isn't about all of promotions or nice houses?

Oh I know life is far more than about money, houses, and stuff like that. My house its far smaller than I could afford, but it's a good size for me, my fiancee, our cats, and future family. It's about how you spend your time to me personally. But money does make things easier, and unfortunately I need money to explore the other things I want out of life. For example, I love traveling the world and experiencing new cultures, but that costs a lot of money, and more importantly as an American who only gets a few weeks off a year, it costs time. Having a good job that is both high paying and flexible with my time really helps me there. I'm also into music production, piano, and guitar, and those things all cost money as well to have access to in my home. So like I said, I very much agree with you life isn't about all these things, but given the society that we have to live and function in, it certainly doesn't hurt. And my work philosophy is; if I'm going to be doing something 40-60 hours a week, I might as well do it well and get the most out of it. And oddly enough, I actually love my job and find it interesting and challenging. But with the money I make, I actually spend fairly little of it... I drive a Subaru, not a BMW, I don't own a snowblower, I shovel myself, I don't own Les Paul Guitars, I own Epiphones and Mexican made Fenders, my house is not 8,000sqft and only has a 2-car garage, etc. I'm not "showwy", and I'm a "function over form" type of person.

That being said, I do work quite a bit, and being in the line of work I am, my work phone is on me 24/7, and when it rings, I answer. It is much more of a lifestyle than just a "job" that I've found myself in, and that part I don't like. But the better I do now, and the more money I stash away now, the sooner i can retire or downgrade to a more peaceful working or living situation.

So I agree that there is something missing that I haven't quit put my finger on yet, but I'm working on it and discovering what that is. My favorite things in life are travel, exploring, music, ready, learning, and accomplishing new things. But given our society, like I said before, traveling and things like that take a lot of time and money, but so do other things I want like having a family and providing for them, and giving them the same opportunities I have. It's a balance that I'm just now starting to work on... so it's going to take some time.

Cheers,