Just did this during my lunch break. Here are my notes in the order they appear in my notebook, which isn't the same as they appeared in my head: Metallic bubbling of a truck Smooth tire revolutions Emergency sirens Tense, periodically nauseous Incense, charcoal, smoke Feeling tall and proper Defensive Baseball concession stands during brother's tourneys Swishing of a water fountain A complaining baby The struggle to open flimsy plastic wrapping Feel like I look more official than I am Eyes are sore from squinting Everything is too bright when I try to open them Feel stiff and stitched up Somewhat confident Urge to go to the top floor of a really tall building
I'm so glad you got out and wrote this. I don't know how you feel though. Is there some way you can get your eyes checked? It might have to be a priority. re the poem: it works for me, with the sudden memory of the concession stands. and we've all struggled with impossible plastic wrappings. I would add one thing. What do you think? Edit: Hi again, louderwords In a discussion of your poem, a reader said to me:
(otherwise it might sound like you want to jump off...
"and throw something" might be yourself, but ... oh I don't know.) Urge to go to the top floor of a really tall building
and throw something
Urge to go to the top floor of a really tall building
And throw up my arms to the sky.