The problem is that there needs to be a balance between blaming the victims and holding males responsible for their actions. Of course we should all be responsible. Of course we should take preventative measures. But why is there such a disparity between girls being responsible and rapists being held responsible? Why are men not being told not to rape but there always seems to be an article on the frontpage with young girls taking the blame? A recent slew of articles and events blaming rapes on the drunk underage high school girls rather than the high school wannabe football stars was the starting point for this piece. Here's one. Here's another. Here's another. There are two sides: We need to be defensive to help curb or prevent crime and to protect ourselves. But we also need to not hurt others. You can't just teach defensive maneuvers and expect society's problems to go away. We need to teach both. We need to talk about both. For what it's worth, I just did a quick survey of the five 20-25 year old guys in my office right now and none were taught not to rape in school.in middle school classes in 1993 where they were lecturing all of us about "no means no"
Link one is advice on how to avoid potentially dangerous situations. Link two is a complicated case of he said, she said in which the victim has stopped cooperating, leading to the case not being pursued. And link three is a case in which the perpetrators were convicted of sexual assault. I'm not sure how that's blaming the victim. Obviously even a rape investigation can be devastating for the victim. I know I wouldn't want an embarrassing and traumatic event put in front of the public. I have no sense of how humiliating and painful that must be. However, I don't know where the idea is coming from that males (at least in this country) aren't taught that rape is wrong. Some don't seem to get it, but it is taught and taught again in school, on television, by any parents who are worth a damn. It's like saying the murder rate is so high, because no one has taught young thugs that murder is wrong. Some people are sociopaths who are going to commit crime. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
Wow. If that is what you see in that piece then this conversation isn't going anywhere. Fucking hell.Link one is advice on how to avoid potentially dangerous situations.
Like a victim blaming, slut shaming, piece of shit clickbait full of misinformation and bullshit disguised as "advice." I think this response pretty well captures my opinion on the piece and the author of said piece.
I think the root of our disagreement (and the wider disagreement fought among many people) is this: I see a crime problem where you see a women's rights problem. When viewed as a crime problem, it's easy to say that there are common sense steps that can be taken to lessen the odds of the crime taking place. However (and what I think I'm starting to see) is that when viewed as a human rights issue, then there is no room for negotiation, as life and liberty (both of which rape obviously infringes on in a dramatic way) are the two most fundamental human rights we have. It's essentially an idealist versus a pragmatist view, I think.
"I see a crime problem where you see a women's rights problem." Having had this discussion many, many times in my past, I can say with confidence that this is the single best summary I can think of. The advice is good and necessary but rejected because it is viewed as anti-women's-rights. And were we not discussing crime (something which, in itself, is about the breakdown of the social construct of rights), there might be a point to the protest on behalf of feminism, but as it stands now... there just isn't. The outrage is understandable but dangerous, especially when it allows one to eschew due caution on principle.
That it's kind of obvious you don't rape the chick in the other cubicle because she smiled politely at you... Then again there is this - They can drink and rape their way around according to that quote. It's articles like this that make me hate to be a dude, because that means I'm automatically a rapist, even if I'm not. So... Outrage is the order of this post. (Sorry if ramble) They don’t have to not rape. They can drink—and rape—because the girls have already been warned.