Preferences are preferences. You'll find someone who likes what you offer. (For the record, I'm a "flowers never" kind of gal.) I started a first date this fall by saying "look, I'm just going to be me, and I hope you're just going to be you, because if we pretend to be other people we are just wasting each other's time." I come with warts as do most people. Instead of hiding them I try to be up front about them because maybe some day I'll find someone who can deal with them or even finds them adorable. (Unlikely but a gal can dream!) pretending to be someone else wastes everyone's time... And as you said, can even damage your own self esteem as you try to live up to tropes that don't feel "right" to you. It's hard to get to this point. And it's not easy to stay there either; it requires a brutal self honesty and a willingness not to censor yourself regardless of who is watching, which is often where I personally run into trouble. But better to be alone than have to pretend you are something you are not in order to hold on to someone, right?