- “Sex is coveted by men,” she said. “Accordingly, women limit access as a way of maintaining advantage in the negotiation of this resource. Women who make sex too readily available compromise the power-holding position of the group, which is why many women are particularly intolerant of women who are, or seem to be, promiscuous.”
I don't doubt this for a second, especially for my generation and younger. The media definitely plays a part but more and more we are realizing that it is impossible to look that way without photoshop. Large campaigns like Dove's "Real Beauty" campaign have even started to capitalize on this realization. Further, the girls who do over-do it with heavy makeup and skintight club dresses are mostly looked at as an easy one-night-stand around here. While I like being perceived as attractive, I certainly don't want people to think of me as easy. I absolutely dress the way I do depending on the people around me. I have outfits specifically for my hometown bars and outfits specifically for drinks/dinner at nicer places in Venice or Hollywood. When I first started this job, most of females were dressed business casual. Production wore jeans and tshirts and some of the marketing girls wore jeans, boots and a nicer sweater or scarf. Since we have two new in-house female account managers, I've felt the need to "step up my game." Sitting in a meeting next to a girl in a nice blouse, statement necklace, heels, and a skirt doesn't feel very good. She definitely stands out (in a good way) and I want to be like that too. I haven't worn flats or jeans in about a year now - about the same time she started. Is it explicitly sexual or competitive? I don't know. I surely don't have sexual feelings or desires for anyone I work with. For me, I just want to look nice and be impressive. I don't ever want to look underdressed (or overdressed) and keep jewelry, a pair of jeans, and heels/flats in my car just in case. Walking into a dive bar after work in nice pumps and a pencil skirt makes me almost as self conscious as walking into the office in flats....but Christopher J. Ferguson and other researchers say that it’s mainly the result of competition with their peers, not media images.
Sex is coveted by every organism on this planet that reproduces sexually. Period. I thought the rest of the article was interesting but that's a silly quote.“Sex is coveted by men,” she said. “Accordingly, women limit access as a way of maintaining advantage in the negotiation of this resource. Women who make sex too readily available compromise the power-holding position of the group, which is why many women are particularly intolerant of women who are, or seem to be, promiscuous.”
I think the word "covet" is key to the idea Dr. Vaillancourt is trying to express. "To covet" is a vastly different idea than "to value", "to desire" or "to want" as it conveys an unsavory and darker air. I would say that sex is a drive that all sexually reproductive organisms share, but I personally think that covetousness is outside of the capabilities of something like ants or weasels. That said, I don't particularly agree that Dr. Vaillancourt's statement rings true for men in general. Naturally, men (like women) desire sex and desire sex with desirable partners (duh) but her statement seems overly simplified and a bit flip, especially when she follows that statement with ideas about power dynamics. Men use sex to gain power too, though generally in a different way than women do, because men and women have different sexual roles within their societies and often different avenues to power. Edit: I just realized that I posted this article a while ago, except the link I posted ends a little differently. All that damn junk at the end . . .
Sure, but I was making the point that men and women both "covet" sex and use it as a position of power -- which you went on to say in the rest of your post. So, very true.I think the word "covet" is key to the idea Dr. Vaillancourt is trying to express. "To covet" is a vastly different idea than "to value", "to desire" or "to want" as it conveys an unsavory and darker air. I would say that sex is a drive that all sexually reproductive organisms share, but I personally think that covetousness is outside of the capabilities of something like ants or weasels.
You're right, I did just quote myself. That was a line from a poem I wrote long ago, in a province far away. I have never ever had a reason to say it since or even think of it until I read your line above. humanodon I would so love to see that as a fortune cookie.
I don't think what you're saying disagrees with what I wrote. Sometimes "available" or "accessible" = desirable, you know, somewhat like how financial stability or a great personality can trump physical attractiveness. Desire is not a clear cut thing, after all.
Guess I'm conflating desirable with attractive. I once hooked up with a not-so-attractive woman in a ladies bathroom on the Upper East Side. I would in no way consider her desirable by the light of day, but I suppose at the time--when I was probably 15 beers deep and it was 3 am--that's what I 'desired', so to speak. Still I think desirable is a loaded word that implies something positive.
I see what you're saying. For me, desirable seems more dispassionate than say, attractive, but I think they're both right there in that zone. I think I've read that beer goggles are a real phenomenon, so yeah. I mean, if enough alcohol is added to a situation, all kinds of stuff seems like a good idea, but I think that might have something to do with removing enough inhibitions that our base urges come out, well, naked. Sometimes a body just feels the urge to stick into another person.Still I think desirable is a loaded word that implies something positive.
I once hooked up with a not-so-attractive woman in a ladies bathroom on the Upper East Side. I would in no way consider her desirable by the light of day, but I suppose at the time--when I was probably 15 beers deep and it was 3 am--that's what I 'desired', so to speak.