- THE PERSISTENCE OF MEMORY
You will not forget me,
Thinking Time your friend,
You will surrender to him.
Then, when you least expect it
The way some girl tilts her chin
or slender hand weaves a cigarette
A throaty laugh will ring out
and my ghost will be near.
You will not forget me
Though days become months
and cold winter warms its way to spring
Though your mind skims the surface
like an insect dancing on a pond –
one day you will dip beneath that mirror
to find me sitting smiling there,
my paintbrush in hand
a dab of color on my chin,
The sunlight catching the paisley pattern
of smoke above my flash of red hair
It will grip your heart for a second
squeeze it free of blood and air
leaving you breathless, tight and sore.
For this I am truly sorry, my lost love
I truly would not hand you pain.
There have been many girls
sliding through your life
Shapes and smiles blend into
one flowing sense of Womanhood
A flavor composed of many spices.
Such that; skin has a Woman taste
hair, a Woman scent – and pain…
Yes, pain will feel like Woman too.
You will not forget me
I am not like other girls
Though I taste like Woman
One day your hand will reach out
to caress a peach, test a tomato,
smell a ripened melon-
some yielding rounded shape
Your hand will stop mid-motion
and you will be taken back
to a chessboard before a blazing fire,
the strangeness of snow on the ocean
the warm light, a halo
around my sleeping naked form.
I woke to see you watching me
a sad smile held your lips as if
you knew this was a moment
you would need to remember later.
And when you are safe and warm one night
in the bed of your old age
as you slide slowly between the soft sheets,
remember how my legs would warm them for you
how we used them as a tent
to hold our love hidden
from even the eyes of God.
When you feel that old emptiness
at the sound of my ordinary name
at the unbidden movie in your mind
at the memory of all that was and could have been
know that you are not alone
know that I remember too.
-- Caroll Houser