There is an airport, two superior courts, two stadiums, three large university complexes and a wastewater treatment plant that would have been different without my involvement. But that shit matters a lot less than this.

Or this.

Or the four other jail terms I've shortened since, that never got publicized.

Or other shit I shouldn't talk about.

I helped a girl apply for citizenship here in the US. Her parents came from Brazil and gave birth to her here. I cared about her more than anyone I could care about besides my family. And beyond anything else, I wanted her to be successful in life, to have options. I grew up knowing that I had to value education and the options I've been given to learn and have the potential to do something, and I wanted her to have the same thing.

So yeah, I helped her apply, and she got in. She got a job at a shoe place, and that was pretty much when she stopped talking to me. That same year I went off to college and she stayed home working at that place. We ended up having different values. I tried to push her to apply for Financial Aid, to go for a college, but she seemed rather content with the shoe place. Then we had a spat and a falling out.

I'm glad I did it. I'm glad she has the option to do what she wants know, even if it's school or going straight to work, or whatever. That's what's important. And seeing her face when she found out she could stay here legally was so, so worth it. Beyond that, it's made me knowledgable about immigration laws, and it's something I'm passionate about nowadays.

So yeah. I dunno if it's possible to measure "impact". In this instance, it could be seen as small to one person, huge to another.

Last summer, I worked as a camp counselor. It was my first year, and my first session was a two week session, overnight. The kids can be annoying and the pay isn't good, it is a job you do because you love the camp, you love the people you meet, and you love the relationships you make. It was the last night of the first session, and we were doing the nightly cabin wrap up. One of the counselors asks a question, and everyone who wants to answers. The question on this night was something along the lines of "tell two people here things you liked about them, how they were helpful, etc." One of the kids in my cabin was a bit of a pain in the ass. He was a bit helpless and always complained. His answer was one I will never forget. He said "Coming into this session, I was bummed out. My favorite counselor from last year is with a different age group. But I quickly realized that c_hawkthorne is just like the other guy. I don't know who my favorite counselor is now. This session was one of the best sessions I have ever had, and I hope to see you next year." This group of kids numbered around 25, with only 10 counselors, half of them often gone running other activities, the job is stressful and it's often hard to help the kids, make the experience enjoyable, memorable, and make them a better person. Knowing I made a difference in one kids life is amazing and it makes me proud to have done that, and been acknowledged for it.

On the other hand, two of the counselors I had growing up made huge differences in my life. They are my role models not just in being a counselor, but life in general. They are both fantastic people who know when to be serious and when to be funny, when to be strict and when to take a more lenient. I am ashamed of myself that I never told them the impact they have had on me. I will definitely try to track them down to tell them how much they mean to me.

You never know when you're going to change someone, or when you're going to change you. Make sure you tell them, because you will certainly regret it if you don't.

Thanks for the shout-out veen. Drew Dudley's speech is cute. He talks about changing someone's life to the point where the person felt compelled to thank him for it years later. The best part - he has no memory of the described event.

In other words, we do things, without even realizing it, that have a huge impact on someone else. These things can be good or bad.

Dudley also encourages people to be proud of what he calls leadership moments. I'm very lucky because my work involves helping people become more effective.

Here's an email one of my computer science students sent me. I teach empathy and nondefensive communication.

I have been meaning to tell you this story about my application of interpersonal skills. I went to a salon to have my hair cut the day after the exam. The barber looked very annoyed while I was detailing the hairstyle I desired and he just started cutting my hair before I even finished. I stopped him right away and I said: "Can you tell me why you seem so unhappy?” He then told me his frustration with customers who are too demanding about their hair styles. Then I said: "So you think I don’t trust you and you feel hurt. Is that why you were so annoyed?” He replied: “Yeah” and the haircut went very well from that point on. What’s even more amazing is that I said those lines almost unconsciously. I felt like those words just slipped out of my mouth.

Notes like those are great to get.

Most of the time, though, we don't know the impact that we've had. But sometimes, you run into that person who thanks you for something you said a long time ago.

Sometimes you even remember saying it.

Hi Veen

I like the #srs tag. Deep question!

I wrote a long response, but before posting I read kb's inspiring links. I'll think about it a little longer before I respond.