I feel conflicted about cocksucker. I would never use the term faggot; its connotations are crystal clear to me. The word cannot be used freely of its meaning in these days. However, although I can't recall using cocksucker, it's almost like motherfucker to me. I have never called someone or anything a motherfucker with the intention to imply that they have intercourse with their mother. It just comes out as a curse with a life of its own. Motherfucker is serious, you use it when you are seriously mad. Hitting my thumb with a hammer might bring cocksucker out. It's one of those words that I would hope not to use, but I find it difficult severely faulting someone from Baldwin's generation from using it. Most of his life, it was probably a generic curse and it has gained baggage. It's wrong, but its context determines the extent. I'm not sure here.
I honestly think most of the furor from the gay community has arisen from the perception that he has used the word "faggot." I think "queen" is where the secondary umbrage lies. I would set "cocksucker" at a distant third. I know that Baldwin denies using the word faggot; I haven't heard the video and I'm not stating whether he did or did not. This seems like a case where hackles have been raised and upset feelings have occurred, perhaps before all facts were presented. You could even argue that "cocksucker" wouldn't be a slur if thrown at a woman. Again, I think "queen" is the bigger problem here, and I think Baldwin's justification that "he didn't know" the word was a homosexual slur is ridiculous. Once hackles have been raised it's hard to soothe them down. To be clear, I want to like Baldwin. I like the work he's done that I've seen. His claim of ignorance, though, rings false to me. He very well may not have used the word "faggot" and I think the perception that he did is what truly caused the fire - but now that it's lit, it's very hard to put out.